Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Turning Back to God Again

About a year ago, I posted a little tĂȘte-a-tĂȘte of sorts that I had in the comments section of a Christian blogger with whom I took offense after reading some his homophobic and grotesquely graphic pro-life posts.

I had a little chuckle at his expense and shared it with Real Johnson readers, who also seemed to enjoy the exchange, and we all moved on.

Or so you all thought.

You see, I have a confession to make.

I didn't move on.

Since that time, that website has actually been a regular stop on my routine trips around the blogosphere.

In fact, there are few sites that can improve my mood more than that great provider of Christ-related wallpapers and horrendous inspirational Christian poetry, Turnback to God--a site moderated by a unibrowed fellow who goes by the name "Georgy."

Unlike Georgy's myriad other readers though, I don't stop by for a moment of enlightenment, some words of inspiration, or to download such gems as "AwesomeGod.mp3."


I head to Turnback to God, of course, to stir shit up. Call it petty, call it mean, call it small-minded, or as some of you did last time, call it far too easy, but I get a kick out of messing with people like this.

I know; I'm an asshole.

But when you combine horrible grammar and spelling, religious tripe, persecution of people because of their sexual preference, and poorly constructed arguments, it's bait I simply can't resist.

So I often find myself over at Turnback to God when I feel like having an argument and mocking the stupid (Read: often).

Recently, over on Turnback to God, a guest writer with the fantastically awesome name Capt. Mervin John Lobo posted a little gem modeslty titled "Bible: The Best Book In The World."

I'll spare you the details of Capt. Mervin's post, but it's full of such insights as "The Bible is unique. Holy Bible is the best book in the world. There is no book in the world like it."

Also included are thoughtful analysis of the Bible's authenticity, such as "There is no myth in Bible, the best book in the world."

Anyway, I had some time to kill and thought I'd lend my voice to the discussion. My comments are below. Please feel free to add your own here, or head on over to the original post to weigh in.

The Real Johnson says: 
November 23rd, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Hello Capt. John (and Georgy!)

I really enjoyed this post!! I am always telling people that the bible is the best book in the world.
I like what you said about prophecies, specifically that the Bible “contains about 1000 prophecies, about 500 of which have already been fulfilled down to the minutest detail.”

This is a really great way to prove that the bible is the best book in the world and I would love to be able to talk about this fact with some of my friends who have doubts. Do you think you could provide me with some more examples of the Bible’s “proven track record – 500 prophecies fulfilled with 100 percent accuracy?”

 My friends might argue that the examples you provide are just things that are also said in the Bible, just later on. For example you talked about how the life of the Messiah was pre-written, but the only proof we have of that prophecy coming true is the account of the Messiah’s life that is also provided in the Bible (the greatest book in the world).

My friends might argue that that really isn’t a reliable argument for 100 per cent accuracy and I really want to show them that the Bible is the greatest book in the world!

You and I know that the truth of these claims is never to be questioned, but some of my friends that have doubts are real sticklers for things like “facts” and “accuracy.” I wonder if you have any more examples of prophecies being fulfilled with 100% accuracy that I might use to show them that the Bible is the greatest book in the world. I’m always trying to think of some but I never can. Can you help??

 I’m also worried about the part where you say the Bible (the greatest book in the world) is a book without error or contradictions. I always try to tell my friends that, but they always argue with me!! I know that the Bible (the best book in the world) is flawless, but some of my friends often try to tell me that there are some contradictions in the Bible.

For example, the Bible (the best book in the world) says that Jacob begat Joseph (Matthew 1:16) but it also says that Joseph is the son of Heli (Luke 3:23). My friends ask then who is Jacob’s father?

Also in Genesis 1, God makes beasts first, then man. But in Genesis 2, he makes man first, then beasts.

 The Gospel of John is different from the three other Gospels when they talk about how long Jesus was in Jerusalem, and all four Gospels are different in their account of Christ’s last moments and his resurrection.

In Genesis, Abraham has two sons, in Hebrews, only one.

The Bible says it’s wrong to lend money with interest in Leviticus, but in Matthew it says it’s wrong to lend money without interest.

 Also, according to the Bible (the best book in the world), my friends argue that God is a vengeful God (Gensis 4:15), and that God is a warrior (Exodus 15:3), and that God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5), and that God is love (2 Corinthians 13:11), and that the spirit of God is peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Which is it, my friends argue?

 I know that these mistakes are intentional. It isn’t my place to questions the Bible (the greatest book in the world) or to doubt its authenticity–clearly God has a purpose for these contradictions to have been left in–but my friends argue that these errors should cause us to question the veracity of all the other claims in the best book in the world and to possibly doubt how much we should really follow it (and of course, by deduction, to question the very existence of God!!!)

Lastly, while you continuously tout the fact that the Bible (the greatest book in the world) was written by many different men over a very long time as further evidence of its greatness (a fact with which I of course agree), my friends would argue that this is just further evidence that the Bible is just a book, and not the word of God. Its numerous authors, they would argue, suggest that it is simply the work of men attempting to explain the physical world around them through a series of myths or, worse, to justify the right to rule of whomever was in power at the time by rewriting and adding to the Bible their hasty and contradictory additions.

I have often faced these questions before myself, and I hoped that your post, aptly titled “Bible: The Best Book In The World” might answer them, but I’m still looking for the answers I need to convince my doubting friends.

Can you answer these questions??

What I should I tell these friends??

I anxiously await your response!

God bless!!!

Ain't I stinker? If you'd like to read more of The Real Johnson's adventures over at Turnback to God, you can check out:

·  The Secret to Avoid Sin or, my personal favourite

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